• Child Loss,  How to Validate Your Child's Life after Death

    Why It’s Important to Talk About Your Children Who Are No Longer Here

    Have you ever noticed how much people clam up and will not mention a child’s name when child loss has taken place?  To bereaved parents, this is one of the biggest hurts of all.  What we need — what we’re wanting so desperately — is to know that our child has not been forgotten!  Hearing our child’s name spoken is the sweetest name we can ever hear!  

  • Child Loss,  Stillbirth,  What to Say to a Grieving Parent

    What (not) to Say to a Parent Who Has Lost a Child

    I am a bereaved mom. And, that is a very, very, very difficult statement for me to say.  Why?  Because that one sentence makes child loss in my life “real.”  I have suffered the pain of six miscarriages, one stillborn baby boy, and now most recently the sudden, unexpected death of my firstborn son. My heart is broken.  My grief cannot be described in words — only in feelings.  And, I know with complete certainty that my life has been changed forever. 

  • Child Loss,  Stillbirth

    Child Loss: This is Not Real!

    We all know that the possibility of death is always there.  We understand that, but somehow we just never combine that possibility with the death of a child.  We’re thinking in terms of other people  than children — grandparents, an aunt who lived to be nearly a hundred, or the neighbor we knew who lived in the nursing home for the past twenty years. Never, ever do we think death is going to touch us in the form of child loss!  And, when it does, our first reaction is often, “This is not real!  It can’t be!  My child is alive.  This is some kind of mistake.”  We freeze and won’t…

  • Child Loss,  Stillbirth

    Child Loss: What Happens When there is Little Support?

    When child loss occurs, nobody knows what to say or do.  So, many times people say whatever pops into their minds, and that’s usually never a good thing and offers very little, if any support. When I delivered my little Samuel, I held him close to me as my tears drenched his face.  He was born still.  I knew ahead of time that his heart had stopped beating, but never did I dream that my heart would stop beating, too, when he entered this world.  Even though he was not alive, I still felt safe and close to him when his body was still inside of mine.  Does that makes sense?  It’s…

  • Child Loss,  Stillbirth

    Child Loss: The Secret in My Dresser Drawer

    Twenty five years ago something happened in my life that I didn’t think I could live through.  One day I was happily pregnant anticipating a new baby joining our family.  And, then without warning I didn’t feel any of the kicks and somersaults that I looked forward to all throughout the day and night.  My body was so still and it was frightening.  I was too afraid to move.  Too afraid to say anything.  Too afraid to allow my thoughts to enter that dark chamber where I knew my heart was going to receive news that would cause my heart to break in two. I waited ’til morning to call the doctor.  Maybe I…