• Uncategorized

    Who would I be if my son had lived?

    Have you ever thought about who you would be today if your child hadn’t died? I know we think a lot about who our child would have been, but what about us, the mothers and fathers, left behind? My son died when he was 42. He had dreams of building a vacation home at “the homestead” — in the field where he grew up. I would have loved that! He and I talked about that a lot! His last trip home before his death we walked the field that adjoins my home and he and I stood on the spot where he wanted to place his home. “Can you see…

  • Uncategorized

    What can I do when grief overpowers me?

    There are days when the grief of losing a child seems over-the-top. The pain is just too much and we have no idea what to do or how to cope. I’ve been there. I’ve had a LOT of those days when I felt totally defeated. I spent hours upon hours in bed crying until I thought there were no tears left. This is a horrible place to be in our grief. When my son died, the early months of grief are barely remembered. All I know is that I was in a lot of pain. Nothing made sense. My world as I knew it no longer existed. This new world…

  • Child Loss,  Getting through Easter Wtihout Your Child,  How to Validate Your Child's Life after Death

    Easter: Another Holiday Without My Child

    Any way you look at child loss it ends up being the same. It hurts like nothing else in the entire world. We get to the point of where we think we just cannot go on any longer because we miss our child so bad. Others try to help us. They try to do everything in their power to take away our pain, but really there’s nothing that anyone else can do to “fix” this hurt. Child loss is the  “unfixable” loss.    

  • Child Loss,  Sibling Loss

    Child Loss: Forgiving the Child That Died

    Before I begin this blog post, please know that this is a subject that is often not mentioned.  Almost never.  Yet, I feel it’s something that we need to address if we’re ever going to come to terms with our child’s death and find some semblance of peace. I’ll use a personal experience as my reference, but ask that if you can find the strength and the words that you’ll comment at the end of the blog so that we can have some honest discussion about a very closed topic pertaining to child loss. Let me explain what I mean by “forgiving the child that died.” When a child dies,…