Hi, I’m Clara Hinton, and I’m a writer and a speaker. Many of you know me from my writings about child loss on Facebook, SilentGrief.com, which I began many years ago, and through my books Silent Grief, Child Loss: The Heartbreak and the Hope, and Hope 365: Daily Meditations for the Grieving Heart.
I love helping people, changing the way we view grief, and anything to do with flowers and Italian food. I began practicing writing and speaking before small groups when I was a little kid, and it is a real privilege for me to still be doing what I’m passionate about as a big kid!
I started this blog with some soul-searching questions:
- How can parents survive the heavy grief of losing a child?
- What does it really take to begin to see hope following loss?
- When will it feel like life is worth living again?
- Why does the grief of losing a child hurt worse than any other grief?
What I found in this search was a community of individuals who shared many of my same struggles and needed the support of like-minded friends.
This place is where we come together to show our support, to learn and grow, and are accepted as broken people who want to know how to live again. If you are struggling through the grief of losing a child, a grandchild, or a sibling, then this blog is for you.
I’d like to give you a bit of my background about how I became passionate about creating ways for families of child loss to get much-needed ongoing support. The very first time that “loss” meant something to me was when my sister Carmella died at age 13. To this day I cannot put into words how her death touched every area of my life! It was truly the most horrible, lonely pain I’ve ever experienced. I liken it to hell. Carmella died alone in the Atlantic City Hospital in New Jersey. I will talk about the story of her death later on as we get to know each other more. I have just recently forgiven myself after many, many years of living with guilt and shame for the part I played in her dying alone—away from all family. Nobody should have to leave this earth alone—especially not a scared little girl who wanted nothing more than to have her family by her side.
My life has been blessed with living children, but at age 22 something happened to me that I never dreamed would be part of my life. I miscarried my first baby. This miscarriage took place during a time when there was little communication about what a miscarriage was, and I was scared out of my mind when I began to hemorrhage finally ending with passing my baby at home. To this day, I still have occasional nightmares from that loss.
Sometimes life leads us down a road we never thought we’d travel. Throughout the course of my married life, I lost six babies to miscarriage and delivered one stillborn baby boy, Samuel. He was precious beyond words. Sadly, I do not have one picture of my sweet little baby boy.
The grief from these losses felt at times like I couldn’t go on living. I didn’t share my pain with others because, quite truthfully, it was during a time when very little was said about child loss. Women were somehow expected to be stoic and strong. How that’s possible when experiencing the pain of child loss, I do not know!
After years of struggling with emotional pain, panic attacks, depression from loss, and not knowing how or where to find any type of healing or relief from this pain, a book was born. During the dark hours of the night over the course of nearly a year, my heart poured out onto the pages of a book called “Silent Grief.” If you haven’t read the book yet, I hope you will. I know that you will identify with so much of what is shared in this book. And, anybody who has experienced the loss of a child knows that we need validation more than anything else when seeking support.
In my more recent book, Child Loss: The Heartbreak and the Hope, I take a deeper look into the complex, ongoing pain of child loss and walk those grieving the loss of a child through the foggy abyss of grief into a place of learning how to live within the ongoing pain of loss. This book is a reflection of my own heart following the sudden, unexpected loss of my son Mike in 2015, coupled with the experience of working with grieving parents for over 25 years. The Heartbreak and the Hope sheds new light and insights on the most misunderstood grief of all – the grief of child loss. You will never view child loss the same after reading this book! You will understand that your job is not to fix the broken heart, but rather learn how to rewrite your life story from the deep love that can only be found in brokenness.
Thank you so much for visiting. I’m hoping that you’ll join in and share your thoughts so that together we can grow a community of supporters. Be sure to enter your email address to subscribe to this blog. You’ll be sent a brief email notification when a new post has been made. I know you won’t want to miss each new post!
By the way, my two biggest hobbies are photography (mostly nature pictures) and gardening. I love both and can be found outside anytime the sun is shining!
I’m so happy to be here talking with you, and I’m looking forward to your comments, thoughts, and your questions as we travel this journey of child loss together!