I never knew how important it was for parents of child loss to tell their story until I became one of those parents. If you’re like me, though, finding people to listen has not been easy!
I’m sure you’ve heard things like, “that’s too sad”, “you need to move on”, “don’t keep living in the past.” We’ve heard those things time and time again, and yet…..we still feel that empty hole that aches and throbs and ” we need to tell our story.”
Sometimes it’s not the pain of losing our child that is the most empty feeling. Instead, it’s knowing that NOBODY is there to listen. NOBODY seems to care. NOBODY wants to hear the story of our child, and that is crushing!
So, what do we do? For me, I began writing. I have experienced multiple miscarriages, the death of an infant son by stillbirth, and the death of an adult son to a massive heart attack. None of the losses were any less tragic. Every time my heart shattered just a bit more. There were times it felt like my heart was shredded and there was nothing left but dangling drops of blood.
I found when I wrote, my heart felt less empty. I didn’t care if anyone was listening specifically to me. I just knew that I felt some of the pain lifted.
Then, I created an online support group. That helped so much!!!!!!! I found that others really did listen, AND I could in turn listen to their stories of loss. Together we began to find a sense of worth and a bit of hope.
When telling our stories — no matter how we find to do that — we also find pieces of the grief begin to soften, and new seeds of hope begin to take root.
We will always and forever miss our child. That’s a fact. There will always be a place that doesn’t feel whole inside. BUT, when we tell our story, we also begin to understand that we never were really alone. There are others who really do care and understand. There are others traveling this road with us. There are others who will listen.
Tell your story. Find a way. Tell it here if you choose. Trust me that when you tell your story, you will feel the burden of grief grow just a little bit lighter and less raw.
I am listening. I will be here to read your story. I am here to help you find your way.
If you want to visit with me personally, you might like this course on grief.