Child Loss: This is Not Real!
We all know that the possibility of death is always there. We understand that, but somehow we just never combine that possibility with the death of a child. We’re thinking in terms of other people than children — grandparents, an aunt who lived to be nearly a hundred, or the neighbor we knew who lived in the nursing home for the past twenty years. Never, ever do we think death is going to touch us in the form of child loss! And, when it does, our first reaction is often, “This is not real! It can’t be! My child is alive. This is some kind of mistake.” We freeze and won’t…
Child Loss: Things People Say
Losing a child is horrible. There is no description that can define the pain. Unless you’ve lived it, you can’t fully “get it”, and there’s not one person who has experienced the loss of a child that would wish this kind of pain on anyone — not even their worst enemy. There are some things that are a blur and will always remain a blur following the death of my thirteen year old sister and then later on following the loss of my son and six miscarried babies. But, the things that remain clear to me are the things that were said to me during my darkest hours of grief. The words…
Child Loss: The Pain Cannot Be Described
I held him in my arms. His little body was perfect. I pulled him up close to me and we sat cheek to cheek. I kissed his tiny little head a thousand times and more. I held his tiny little fingers and just kept touching them lightly against my lips. I took his precious little feet and fit them into the palm of my hand and ever so gently closed my fingers around each tiny toe counting to make sure there were five on each small foot. And, then I felt my body fold into a million broken pieces as I rocked back and forth, my body shaking in pain knowing…