When my baby boy was born still twenty-five years ago, the grief that I felt was impossible to explain to others. There were days when I could not move from my bed. Eventually, the grief seemed to soften a bit, and life felt “okay” for a time.
Then year two came along, and I was knocked flat with crippling grief, only this time it was much worse and I couldn’t figure out why I had this much grief hitting me so hard again.
Just recently my adult son Mike died very unexpectedly, and my heart was ripped apart. Shattered. Empty. Lost. Feeling so alone. And, knowing what is ahead in this journey.
Many of us find ourselves grieving harder in year two than in year one, and initially it doesn’t make a bit of sense. We know we’ve already cried millions of tears. We understand the fact that our child is not with us and we must somehow find a way to re-enter life. We understand all of this, and yet…….
Grief knocks us down and out all over again!
I’ve written about this new grief in great detail in my book Child Loss: the Heartbreak and the Hope and I urge every parent, every sibling, every friend who is walking this path of child loss to get a copy of this book so that you can better understand more about the grief and pain of child loss.
Grief isn’t a one time event! The grief from child loss lasts a lifetime and the more we understand just how grief works, the better we will be able to walk this journey of loss.
Please listen to this brief video as I talk from the very depths of my heart about why grief hurts even worse in year two.
It is my hope and my prayer that as we travel this journey of child loss together, we can understand more fully how grief affects us. Sometimes we feel like we’re totally losing it. Others may look at us questioning why we’re “living in the past” and not moving forward in our lives.
It’s so important to understand that quite often year two is worse than year one in our grief.
Why? Why does grief return and kick us back down again?
Because it takes that long for the reality of our loss to fully register with us. Our minds know that the loss of our child took place, but our heart is fighting the reality of the fact that our child is really and truly not with us on this earth anymore. And, when that reality finally settles in, our grief returns with a vengeance.
Please remember that this returning grief does not last forever. We will get through with the help, love, and support of those around us.
Ongoing support is vital to helping us survive this immense grief and pain! – Excerpt from Child Loss: The Heartbreak and the Hope.
My God bless each and every parent and family struggling with the pain of child loss. May we each be surrounded by family and friends who will hold us close and keep reminding us that they are right beside us walking this journey with us.
My love to all,
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