Child Loss: Saying “Happy Birthday” When Our Child is Gone
Never in one million years did I think I’d ever be faced with the agony of how to celebrate my child’s birthday after his death. Yet, it happened to me just as it happens to thousands of parents every year. Yet, strangely enough, we don’t talk about how to do this. Why? Because truthfully, society seems to shun talk of death — especially the death of child. Add to that the fact that we want to honor our child’s “birthday” after death, and we often get stares from people like we’ve gone totally crazy. Today, let’s push aside all thoughts about what others think. I’m going to share some thoughts…
Child Loss: What Happens When there is Little Support?
When child loss occurs, nobody knows what to say or do. So, many times people say whatever pops into their minds, and that’s usually never a good thing and offers very little, if any support. When I delivered my little Samuel, I held him close to me as my tears drenched his face. He was born still. I knew ahead of time that his heart had stopped beating, but never did I dream that my heart would stop beating, too, when he entered this world. Even though he was not alive, I still felt safe and close to him when his body was still inside of mine. Does that makes sense? It’s…
Child Loss: Seeing Our Child After Death
People don’t like to talk about this subject. They say it’s too disturbing. But, worse is when it happens to you and you’re not expecting it, and then you believe you’re crazy. Sometimes we honestly believe we can see our child who died walking among the living. You didn’t lose your mind. This is all part of your grief, and it’s time people began talking about it! When my sister died at age thirteen, I was devastated! I was only fifteen, and nobody had prepared me at all about death. Why would they? It’s something you don’t really think much about at that age. And, truthfully, death isn’t a topic that…
Child Loss: Where Are My Friends?
“What happened? Where are my friends?” Those are probably two of the most pain-filled questions that parents and families of child loss ask following the death of a child. This seems to be the one thing that is misunderstood the most by grieving parents.
Child Loss: Things People Say
Losing a child is horrible. There is no description that can define the pain. Unless you’ve lived it, you can’t fully “get it”, and there’s not one person who has experienced the loss of a child that would wish this kind of pain on anyone — not even their worst enemy. There are some things that are a blur and will always remain a blur following the death of my thirteen year old sister and then later on following the loss of my son and six miscarried babies. But, the things that remain clear to me are the things that were said to me during my darkest hours of grief. The words…